🔗 Share this article

Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the safe haven in everyday journalism, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to learn that an online journalist Adrian Chiles owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet at his home. Reflect for a moment regarding the Barnsley supporter who took the rest room a little too literally, and had to be saved from the vacant Barnsley ground post-napping in the lavatory midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “He had no shoes on and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained an official from the local fire department. And nobody can overlook at the pinnacle of his career with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to access the restrooms in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then came in and was asking where the toilets were, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told local Manchester media. “Subsequently he wandered round the campus as if he owned it.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century since Kevin Keegan stepped down as England manager after a brief chat within a restroom stall alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the famous old stadium. According to Davies' personal account, FA Confidential, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams “fired up”, both of them pleading for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, muttering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Merely one possibility emerged. The restroom stalls. A significant event in English football's extensive history occurred in the ancient loos of a venue scheduled for destruction. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, later admitting that he had found his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's a tremendously tough role.” The English game has progressed significantly in the quarter of a century since. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are no longer present, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and distributed some merchandise, I've opted to write and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|